am and am not

i am not my thoughts
i am not this thin one letter word
these thoughts are something of me
as snowflakes filling the night sky
are something of the earth

i am my eyes
taking in this light
changing into all that surrounds me
i am my visions of the shadows of the tree
falling across the road

i am the sounds in my chest and gut
am the beat, the pounding
the resonance, the whoosh of breath
i am the pops and gurgles
of chime moving in peristalsis

i am the thrill of acceleration
the fear of falling
when leaning over ledges
i am the warmth
of her hand on the side of my face

i am my teeth
rooted in jaws
being worn away

i am the strength in striated muscles
to hold myself up
propel towards something
or away
to carry things of weights of which
my thoughts doubted i could

i am my passions
soaring hope that is there
that silent joy
shaky fear and dread

i am water
minerals from earth
moving across membranes
combining and dividing
i am lost in evaporation
built in winding double staircases

i am errors and chance
currents and gradients

i am my reactions and impulse
to catch in mid air objects
that slip from fingertip grasp

i am my pains and discomforts

i am my future death and stillness
when some of what is me will end
when my thoughts will end

my thoughts are part of me
i do not live only with them
as cell mates in my head
i live in the world where snowflakes fall at night
filling the sky quietly
as i move through them